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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25117681">What You Are</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/glamourtentia/pseuds/glamourtentia'>glamourtentia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:35:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25117681</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/glamourtentia/pseuds/glamourtentia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>James has, as he is wont to do, fucked up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/James Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What You Are</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mzuul/gifts">Mzuul</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wrote this as a birthday gift for zully like over a year ago and forgot to ever post it whoops. enjoy or whatever</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James has, as he is wont to do, fucked up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pads?” he calls out softly from within his bedcurtains. When after a few seconds there’s no response, he tries again, as loud as he dares this late at night. “Sirius?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still nothing. James sighs and looks woefully down at his slime-covered hands. Remus’d kill him if he woke him, and Pete’d be no help at all, so Sirius really is his only option. Too bad the git’s such a bloody heavy sleeper.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But after another minute or so, there’s a rustling just outside the curtains, and then Sirius is pushing through them and climbing onto James’s bed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Budge over, it’s fucking freezing,” he mumbles, voice raspy with sleep. Gratefully James moves over to make room for Sirius to slip under the covers beside him, and Sirius scoots close into his side to leech off his body heat. Once he’s settled Sirius looks over at James with tired eyes. “What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Embarrassed, James just says, “Er, well,” and nods minutely at his slime hands.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius stares at them for a few seconds like he’s never seen hands before, and then, predictably, he starts to snicker. “Bloody hell, Prongs, you never told me you had glittery blue spunk —“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t!” James interrupts frantically before Sirius can go any further. “This isn’t — it’s not what it looks like — “</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hang on, I got one more,” Sirius interjects, still sniggering loudly.“Hey, uh, hey, Prongs, did you know they make lube that <em>isn’t</em> blue and pumped full of unicorn farts?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James huffs and rolls his eyes. “Har har. You’re a comedian.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I really am,” Sirius says proudly, and at least his amusement has gotten him a little more awake now. His eyes are <em>almost</em> alert when he looks back at James and grins. “But seriously, you’re gonna have sparkles coming out your arse for <em>days</em>, mate — “</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was <em>trying</em>,” James cuts in loudly. Too loudly. Sirius shushes him, the fucking hypocrite, and James elbows him hard in the side only to be elbowed right back. “I was <em>trying</em> to make some headway on Operation Slip ‘n’ Slide, you fucking prick.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Oh</em>.” Understanding dawns on Sirius’s pretty face, but his grin stays as smarmy as ever. “Hate to be the one to break it to you, Prongs, but I didn’t think this was what we had in mind when we talked about it.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Actually, it kind of is,” James says, and punches Sirius in the face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius’s expression goes quickly from shock to betrayal to confusion and then finally awe as James’s fist glides along his cheek with only a feather-light touch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Merlin. You did it,” Sirius breathes, and James can’t help puffing out his chest with pride before Sirius adds, “sort of.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James makes a face. “Yeah, I know, but the core concept is <em>here</em>. It works. Watch this.” He goes to pick up his wand where it’s laying uselessly in his lap, but the slime on his hands makes it slip instantly out of his determined grip.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Damn. And it’s not sticky or anything?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope. Check it out.” James offers one slimy blue hand to Sirius, who pokes at it cautiously, but his finger slides right off practically before it’s made contact. He tries again, this time grabbing around James’s hand, but when he finds himself once again grasping at thin air Sirius whistles quietly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s pretty amazing, Prongs,” Sirius says. His voice is laden with admiration, and his eyes are fixed on James’s face instead of his slimy hands. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” James says proudly. “So, we just need to work out the kinks — like, how to get it all over the Slytherin common room instead of our own hands — but I figure Remus’ll help with that bit.” Sirius is still watching him with a strange look on his face, and he clears his throat and looks down at his hands again. “Anyway, as you can see, I can’t exactly pick up my wand to do the counterspell, so...”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah, and here I thought you called me to your bed in the middle of the night just to show off.” Sirius withdraws his own wand and waggles it in James’s face. “Just tell me what to do.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After an aggravating (and amusing, if Sirius’s gleeful grin is anything to go by) few minutes during which James makes inventive use of his elbows and Sirius does absolutely nothing to help, they’ve finally got James’s notebook sitting in Sirius’s lap, open to the pages on which he’d hurriedly scrawled notes about the spell.The thing is that since he’s only just got the spell to work he hasn’t had a chance to tinker around with the counterspell yet, so nervously he instructs Sirius to go very, very slowly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Relax, Prongs, it’ll be fine. How hard can it be?” Sirius says with a shrug and roll of his eyes that’s less than reassuring.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just…be careful,” James says, again. “I rather like having hands.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know you do, you filthy wanker. Now hold still.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius grabs James’s left wrist, non-Quidditch hand first, as per James’ requests. He mutters the counterspell and waves his wand slowly over the tip of James’s little finger. James feels a brief prick of panic when nothing happens at first, then a bigger surge of it when his little finger starts to itch and tingle, but then the slime is receding into nothingness and he can see half his little finger looking good as new.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius pauses and looks up at him. “All right?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah, keep going.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius flashes him a quick smile, then gets back to work. His brow furrows in the way it only does on the rare occasion he’s really concentrating on something. It’s a kind of intense focus usually reserved for calculating the exact moment to release a spell that’s suspending a bucket of doxy droppings overhead the Potions classroom doorway, and James feels oddly pleased that Sirius is giving him and his predicament that kind of attention.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Soon James’s fingers and thumb of his left hand have been deslimed down to the last knuckle, and Sirius pauses and grins up at him. “You should leave it like this. Permanent fingerless gloves.” He waves James’s hand around by the wrist. “And then you’ve still got your fingies all slime-free to do whatever it is you do that isn’t grabbing Snitches and wanking. Pick your nose, maybe.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Very funny,” James says with a roll of his eyes. “Take it all off. And I fucking hate it when you say <em>fingies</em>, you piece of shite.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know,” Sirius says with an unconcerned smile. “All right, then, have it your way”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He returns his attention to James’s slimy fingerless glove and keeps going from where he left off. He removes the slime down to the end of James’s palm, then stops again with a centimetre of slime left on James’s wrist, and James is groaning even before he says anything.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Slime bracelet?” Sirius suggests, turning James’s wrist this way and that as if to show it off. “Very cool, very trendy, and then no one can grab your wrist.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know, Pads, I know you think all your ideas are very good, but they aren’t. Sorry you had to find out this way.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius snorts and rolls his eyes. “Fuck you, Prongs, I’m brilliant and perfect in every way.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James just rolls his eyes right back. “Sure you are. Take it all off,” he says again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius heaves a disappointed sigh. “You’re no fun at all these days,” he says mournfully as he continues the removal until there’s nothing left, and he releases James’s wrist. “There you go, there’s your stupid boring hand.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James flexes his fingers and gives Sirius a grateful smile that quickly turns into a frown as he realizes something. “In hindsight, maybe I should’ve had you do my right hand first so I could do the other myself.” He reaches for his wand with his left hand, but it feels unnatural as he turns it over in his palm. “I can probably still do it left-handed…”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, for Merlin’s sake,” Sirius says, sounding exasperated. “I’ll just do that one too. Don’t want you boiling your best hand. I’ve got the hang of it by now, anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. All right.” James smiles with relief. “Thanks. I owe you, Pads.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve <em>owed me</em> for the past six years,” Sirius grumbles as he goes to grab James’s wrist, but before he can James pulls it away.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Start from the wrist this time,” James tells him. “Maybe you’ll get less distracted.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius gives the greatest sigh and roll of his eyes that James has ever seen. He should really get into theatre. “<em>No. Fun</em>,” he says again, but when he takes James’s arm he moves his wand over his wrist instead of his fingertips.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thankfully, Sirius’s newfound confidence means he goes altogether too quickly to get too distracted or make many more horrible jokes. He does, however, stop once, when he’s removed the slime from James’s wrist up to the first knuckle of each finger in the exact reverse from earlier. Then he holds James’s own hand right up in his face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fingie gloves,” he says solemnly. James smacks him in the face with his deslimed palm. “Ouch! I’m right, arsehole!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re a nightmare.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I should leave the rest of it on like this, you ungrateful prick,” Sirius sniffs haughtily, but he just pulls James’s arm back down to finish the job. He holds onto James’s hand this time instead of his wrist, closer to the remaining slime, and returns to his steady wand movements.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">An unexpected heat spreads slowly up James’s arm from where Sirius’s cool fingers are pressed to his skin, getting stronger when Sirius adjusts again and his fingertips brush along James’s palm. James swallows thickly and tries very, very hard not to think about how nice Sirius’s soft, elegant hands feel against his calloused skin. He also tries not to think about how warm Sirius is where he’s pressed to his side, which should be easy, because why <em>would</em> he think about that? Why <em>is</em> he thinking about that and why can’t he stop?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s almost disappointed when Sirius finally finishes, but to his surprise Sirius doesn’t let go of his hand. “All done,” he announces. He drops his wand to the side and takes James’s hand in both of his, turning it palm up and tracing his fingertips over James’s skin. James tries not to shiver. “How does it feel?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good,” James murmurs without thinking, and immediately flushes a dark red that he hopes Sirius can’t see in the dark. “I mean, uh. You know. Normal. You mean my hand, right?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius scoffs, but instead of rolling his eyes he keeps them fixed on James’s, and yeah, there’s no way he doesn’t notice James’s blush. “No, I meant your wang. Yeah, your hand, idiot. Does it, like, feel weird from the slime? Or the counterspell?” His fingers are still moving across James’s palm and the back of his hand, and it’s horrendously distracting.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Er, yeah. I mean, no,” James says quickly when Sirius raises an eyebrow. “No, nothing feels weird. It feels…” <em>Good, really, really good—</em> “Totally normal. Good as new.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good,” Sirius says, nodding sharply. “I don’t feel anything weird, either. Doesn’t look like there are any unwanted side effects. You really nailed the spell.” He smiles, but it looks a little strained, and when he finally releases James’s hand there’s a strange tension floating in the air between them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James is at a loss for words for a moment. “Yeah, uh. Thanks,” he says finally. “You did a good job. Taking it off.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I <em>am</em> known for my talent for taking things off,” Sirius says airily. It’s the kind of mindless shit he says all the time, completely casual, but right now it makes the collar of James’s pyjama shirt feel a little too tight. He tugs at it uncomfortably and clears his throat.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I suppose we should go to sleep. I, er.” James rubs the back of his neck. “You can just stay here, if you don’t want to go back to your bed.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, thank Merlin,” Sirius sighs, immediately slumping heavily against James, who is starting to feel quite a bit overheated. “It’s <em>so</em> much warmer in here. Thanks, mate.” Sirius reaches up to pat James’s cheek, and the touch makes James flinch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why are your hands so fucking cold when the rest of you is so hot?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius splutters and shoots upright, giving James a look of wide-eyed surprise. “What?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I — “ James wants to die. “I meant. Fuck. I meant, like, heat-wise. You know. Like, warm. Not like…<em>that</em>.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius’s shocked expression is replaced with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips, a calculating look in his eyes. “Oh, well as long as it’s not <em>that</em>.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, I didn’t mean — “ James pulls his glasses off and rubs at his burning face. “Not that you’re not <em>that</em>, too. You know you’re… You know.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know I’m what?” Sirius says innocently. He leans into James a little bit again and bats his eyelashes. “What am I, exactly?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s not like James has never told Sirius he’s pretty before. It’s just a fact, like James being good at Quidditch, like Remus being a werewolf or Pete being a suckup. It’s Sirius’s <em>thing</em>, is what it is. Being pretty, and charming, and clever and devious and brilliant, and knowing everything about James, probably including what he’s thinking right now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And while James’s mouth opens and closes like a grindylow out of water, Sirius rolls his eyes and sighs. “Honestly, Jamie,” he says, and he twists towards James and kisses him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James inhales sharply against Sirius’s lips, and Sirius starts to move away but before he even realizes what he’s doing James is tossing his glasses aside and taking Sirius’s face in his hands to pull him in and kiss him back. Sirius makes a quiet noise, almost a whimper, and one hand comes up to fist in James’s shirt and draw him in closer.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thing is, Sirius is <em>experienced</em>, and he’s a really, really amazing kisser. His tongue slips into James’s mouth with practised ease, and all James can do is let himself be swept away and try his best to follow along. Sirius’s hands guide him down until he’s laying back into his pillows, and then Sirius pushes himself up and swings a leg over so he’s straddling James’s lap, never breaking the kiss for longer than a second.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius presses his body firmly against James’s, and James groans quietly and threads his fingers through Sirius’s hair while his other hand slides up Sirius’s back under his shirt. Sirius hums as his hands drag down James’s sides to the hem of his nightshirt. He sits up straight, pulling James with him by the shirt, and tugs insistently until James lifts his arms and Sirius can yank the shirt off over his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mouth is back on James’s in an instant, pushing him back into the pillows again with cool hands on his bare chest. James’s hands settle on Sirius’s hips, pulling him as close as he possibly can as he kisses Sirius with a hunger he didn’t know he had. Sirius moans softly against James’s lips as he explores the planes of James’s chest with searching fingertips. His hair tickles James’s cheek, so James reaches up to push it back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius draws back for breath, panting quietly, as James cards his fingers through his hair. It’s a mess, and so is Sirius; his shirt’s all askew, his eyes wide and his cheeks pink, and his lips are parted and flushed. James reaches up with his other hand to run his thumb along Sirius’s lip, half smiling with wonder when Sirius turns instinctively into the touch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And finally, James has an answer for him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re bloody gorgeous,” James breathes with awe.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sirius’s pretty mouth stretches slowly into a crooked, satisfied smile. “Yeah, I know.” And before James can retort Sirius is pulling his own shirt off, revealing smooth pale skin and <em>gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous</em> and then he’s leaning back in and kissing James again, harder and messier than before, and every kiss is an oath that things will never be the same again.</span>
</p>
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